Updated: Jul 7
In my '20s, I met the book " You can heal your life" by Louise Hay ( Hay House Publishing). This book was the beginning of my journey to discover the human potential to heal the mind and body. I give a great appreciation to Louise Hay to this date to wake me up and to develop my own mind to be a creator of my life rather than be a victim of life.
Today, I have no intention to blog my negative past. Instead, I wanted to share this with you because of this life experience, I have become who I am now, a joyful, peaceful, fun-seeking, happy being. All I have is appreciation and compassion for this life. I believe we all came into this world to experience the contrasts with others to remember who we all are, pure, positive, loving, invincible, happy being.
My hometown in Japan is small and so beautiful, overlooking Mt. Fuji from my parent's house, natural spring water from Mt Fuji is abundant, and the water is known to be one of the best in Japan. The neighborhood community is kind and supportive.
I was blessed to have grown up there.
My parents were not happy together. They were often in fights, not only verbal fights but physical fights too.
My father was a typical old-fashion Japanese man who dedicated the majority of his life to his company. He was a hard-working and workaholic. I do not remember him being at home much. He was supportive of me in sports practice and participated in the related events whenever he could. My mother had chronic depression and a hoarder. I felt as if I had to be an emotional supporter of her since I was a young child. She often spoke ills of my father to me. I did not personally think there was anything wrong with my father's doing. However, with her constant, ill speaking of my father, I became so disrespectful of him or men in general as I reached early teenage. She also discouraged me from doing anything I was inspired to do. I was a curious child by nature and always found something to entertain and create. One passion I had at an early age was for me to sing. I thought I had a good sense of rhythm and voice too. I remember entertaining my family singing and playing guitar with a broom at the age of two. I wanted to participate in singing contests at the age of 8. My mom told me that I could never be a singer. I remember I was sad and my self-esteem was shuttered entirely.
Her depression had become worse during her menopausal period that she had become suicidal. She asked me to commit suicide with her. I was afraid of her death intentions every day. I was scared of death cause it was unknown. I wanted to understand what happens when we die. So I read several books about death interpretations by religions, life after death, the process of death, and near-death experiences. Although I learned that death was not the end of us and our consciousness (souls) live eternally, I was a sad and unhappy child looking at my mother was depressed.
Playing a sport was a great getaway from my domestic environment. I was able to focus on myself positively by becoming a great basketball team player. I trained and played hard. Then, I developed a herniated disk on my lower back when I was 12. It was probably caused by the over usage of the growing body training sport. I had to be in the hospital for a couple of months for treatment. It was when I picked up a book about conversational English for the first time. I loved the way it sounded when I pronounced the words. I started mimicking the sounds. It was like learning a new song.!! I must have read the book in a day and got more books written in English. My insight just knew I would move to the US, and I did at the age of 22. I flew to Los Angeles by myself, not knowing where I stayed the next day.
It is so clear now that I moved away from Japan to make a big step in the unknown world to explore my potentiality. There are no accidents in life when the students are ready; teachers appear. I have come across many beautiful teachers and friends who lead me to this day to fulfill my desire, which is to heal my mind. Louise Hay was the first person I met in the US who was already teaching meditation in the '80s. It was the beginning of finding the power of meditation.